About the Relationship (Perel) Agreement

(Please print off this page so you can refer to it later and show it to friends to discuss) 

A Relationship Agreement is an agreement for uncertain times in the history of relationships.

The Relationship Agreement is designed for people in or entering into a relationship who would like some recognition of and means of commitment for a sustainable period of time.

The RA has many advantages over a system where there is no structure and no serious commitment at all as it keeps the parties on their best performance and addresses failings by either party. Would you buy a house, get a job or buy a business or invest money without getting something in writing? Of course not.

Too often, in nearly 50% of cases, marriages end up in a messy unpleasant divorce and assets are at risk and there may be maintenance to pay. It has often been said that there needs to be a complete overhaul in the concept of marriage which can, in many cases, end in personal minor or major disaster for two people and of the amorphous uncommitted undefined concept of the relationship. An RA avoids these outcomes and provides much needed definition.

Would you enter into a business or take a gamble knowing that you had a 50% chance of losing out financially - and emotionally? Of course not.

Why should something as important as a relationship be any different? Many people would not enter into a business arrangement where there was a 50% chance of losing nearly everything you have worked for. Similarly it is reckless to enter into a serious relationship or marriage with no guidelines, where assets are at risk and where termination is not provided for. If you were to consider such a venture/gamble as a marriage, let alone a basic continuing personal relationship, it would be wise to have relationship "insurance" so your losses, emotional and financial, would be minimized. An RA is a form of relationship insurance as you never know what is going to happen in the future no matter with what protestations of undying love one encounters and utters at the outset. And an RA is more than just relationship insurance as it tunes up and improves the quality of any relationship or genuine marriage. 

The concept of the Personal Relationship Agreement is appealing to many people who are dissatisfied or unmotivated by the current nature of relationships which are generally ill defined, indeterminate and evanescent and prone to dumping and plagued by uncertain commitment. Anyone in a relationship can only benefit and enjoy a richer experience from entry into a relationship agreement unless there are ulterior motives of gain or unless there is no discernible serious degree of true dedication and commitment.

Many people who want something solid as a basis for a relationship, short or long, will find the concept of the personal relationship agreement very appealing, opening up a whole new world of experience of relationships of a higher certainty and quality with others similarly minded. Even people in simple fleeting personal relationships can enjoy a more satisfying experience by entering into an RA and people in a marriage can also enter into an RA with their spouse for a bit of extra spice, extra respect and excitement. People who are already in a serious relationship or a marriage would have nothing to fear from entering into an RA, unless they have something to fear, be reticent or not forthcoming about.

For both parties to offer to enter into an RA with a partner is a sign of respect and declaration that they honour the other person. To refuse to do so means that in the major areas of the relationship one will not compromise, show consideration or commit and may even point to ulterior motives.

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